Rambozos and slicing pork. - Kimber Forum

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Old 10-21-2018, 02:46 AM   #1
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Rambozos and slicing pork.

One of the things I both love and loathe are knife magazines. For example, a good thing was that a new Bradford knife came out and I bought one. The bad thing was the "knife duelists" are slicing pork. Let me explain.

One of these duelists found a way to replicate the human arm. He wraps pork around a broom stick, wraps that in denim, and holds it all together with Saran Wrap.

Then he takes a knife makes a slash, usually the "glamor shot" is four inches deep, down to the broom stick, and he pulls the slice apart to show the depth of the cut and the dynamics of his technique.

Yikes, I have 20 dollar Spline that will do that.

I had hoped these knife duelers and Martialists had gone away. I test a knife two ways. One, I lightly press the edge cross-grain through newsprint. If it sticks somewhere, I have a flaw.

On kitchen knives I like to cut fish, because their meat is a "double bias." The fillets grow both down and back towards the tail. If you block a perfectly square section of double bias meat, it's a sharp knife.

But the last time I saw knife dueling is was during a retrospective of "The West Side Story."

Cut the pork for dinner, save the broom stick for kindling and denim for knee patches. The rest of this is plain BS.
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Old 10-21-2018, 05:38 AM   #2
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It sounds like something Robert Rodriguez would think up to make an action movie on the cheap.
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:40 AM   #3
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I think the guy's name is Jannich or something close to that. Knows about as much of the martial use of edged weapons as Phil Elmore.

If these guys are so good at fighting and love it so much, why not trot on down to the army recruiter and protect us all!

I had the honor of taking training from both Judge Archie Simonson before his death, and my fencing coach, whose son was on the Olympic team.

When guys in a magazine don't do a single thing that the experts do, you know you're being hosed.
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:46 AM   #4
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By "hosed" you may or may not mean "entertained", but I digress.
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:58 AM   #5
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I meant "hosed" like in "mislead."

The job of a publisher is to sell magazines. If you want to sell knife magazines you don't show a professional with a 2,500 dollar Hattori dicing vegetables.

You show flashing steel, and pains on the attacker's face and the winner (and writer) standing in ultimate victory.

I used to hang around high school with a "gang" who all carried switchblades. We never cut anyone.

And neither have the guys in knife magazines.
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Old 10-21-2018, 09:22 AM   #6
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I figured you did. My point was that most of the people reading are most likely doing so more for entertainment and education, regardless of what they tell themselves.
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Old 10-21-2018, 11:35 AM   #7
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How many knife writers have sliced up so many people that they have acquired sufficient experience to dispense to their readers? None, with perhaps the exception of Jeffery Dahmer.

How many gun writers have shot enough people to make them some kind of authority, qualified to instruct others on the process? There's that former sniper, but that's not a skill most of us are seeking. There's that former cop who writes, but before a cop can shoot enough people to really acquire valid data, he's deemed a liability to the force and yanked from the field. A soldier in Kandahar? Totally different than the hardware salesman in Peoria who might have to face down a robber.
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Old 10-21-2018, 11:45 AM   #8
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You bring up good points, I'm looking for reliable information.

I think if I had to pick a guy to listen to, it would be Jerry VanCook. Not only does he have the credentials, his advice is down to earth. Then again, I haven't seen a knife magazine with one of his articles in years.

Perhaps the posers kicked the professional to the curb. And that probably took 20 of them...
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:47 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
You bring up good points, I'm looking for reliable information.
Well, if it's expert advice you're seeking, I've spilled plenty of blood in my time. Unfortunately, most of it has been my own, so you're probably best off clicking the "next" button right now.

I've never fought with a sharp blade, but have banged up plenty of people, and been black and blue myself, using trainers. For what it's worth, here's what I think about Pork Sandwich Parlor Tricks. Let's take that fancy new Bradford of yours. Give it to 99.9% of the population, and they're less dangerous than a butter knife in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. For that matter, take away the butter knife, and the Bradford wielder is STILL going to be very sad at the end of the day. If you can slice a slab of pork to the broomstick, it means you can polish a blade-nothing more.

Magazines can be great entertainment, but there still might be a valuable lesson to be learned on occasion.

P.S.
There's a tv show where contestants perform similar stunts with blades. I watched a few minutes, but it's not for me.
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Old 10-21-2018, 03:29 PM   #10
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Obviously, my thinking is the same. A knife has been a tool for me since 1958.

And despite my checkered past, Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my entire knife collection.

Like most Christians, I worried about the effects of idolatry. Oh, I'd always say, "It's just a collection." But if Doc called and said, "Put the good ones in a box and ship 'em," he'd get no resistance from me.

A knife is a piece of metal with holes drilled into it. It's not a lifestyle.
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