Terrifying Brush With Unspeakable Danger - Kimber Forum

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Old 02-22-2019, 07:16 PM   #1
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Terrifying Brush With Unspeakable Danger

So I got home a little early for dinner, so I was upstairs at my desk eating a bowl of ice cream and reading KimberTalk. Then I heard it... the faint rumble coming up the street. Beads of sweat started forming on my brow, as I had a sneaking suspicion what was next.

I slid down off my chair and under the desk, but the rumbling stopped right outside my house. I nearly leapt out of my skin when the doorbell rang.

My heart was racing at 200+ as I cracked open the front door. And there he was: the brown uniformed man from the UPS. He thrust into my hand a package with the ominous label: Badabing Enterprises.

The ball had been set in motion a couple days ago when Chico delivered this package to the UPS Store, and I had no choice but to carry on with the game. I sliced open the package, and inside found an innocuous looking box printed with the name, "Kershaw." Inside was the 15 degree Barge finished to 3.2 million grit that Chico made for me.

I very carefully opened the box, knowing that with one false move, I could fumble the knife, and it would easily sever a finger, cutting through the floor, and into the Earth below my house, coming to rest somewhere around Xinhua, China.

My first experiment was the most frightening: actually touching the blade. Chico told me not to do it. Yeah, right. He had explained how "tickling the dragon" involves placing the fingers on the blade, and then waiting for it to start cutting through the epidermis. This is seriously scary, but so crazy that it doesn't beg to be done.

As it turns out, I can do it with no ill effects. Due to my profession, my fingers are calloused and steady as a rock--a very big stable rock. So that was ok, and I played around a little bit altering pressure. This probably isn't a wise course of action for normal people. Best not go around tickling any dragons.

As much as I would have liked to have put the knife safely into a drawer and quit this silly game of Russian Roulette, I had to keep playing. After all, nothing is learned without experimentation.

I had to know what pressure would be required to cut skin. This is the coolest part of the experiment, for which I had to put on good glasses and get out a very bright light. On a fingertip the blade is placed, a little pressure applied, and then the blade pulled a minute amount. A little discoloration reveals that a cut is made. But I can't feel it, even by rubbing another finger over it. But the discoloration is evident.

Next is the 60x magnifier. The cut is only a fraction the width of a fingerprint ridge, and not nearly as deep. The only way you know it's there is by the little line on the skin. That's pretty cool. This knife is hella sharp.

Next was shaving hair off my arm. The 3.1 million Barge shaves the hair off very nicely. Then I compared it with Chico's Blunt Barge. It gives a good shave, too, but not as good as the 3.1 million edge. Then I compared both to my own work. Mine is extremely sharp, but not as sharp as these two Barges. For now, I'm going to stick to my double-edge safety razor.

So right now I'm going to set this on my desk and walk away, while all the red stuff is still on the inside where it belongs.

Thanks, Chico, this is a really a fun new toy. I can't wait to start chopping down the trees in my yard in the daytime, and preparing sashimi for dinner in the evening.
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:26 PM   #2
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LOL ! I know what you mean about just having to touch the edge. I did also, just didnít get out the magnifier as you did.
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Old 02-22-2019, 09:33 PM   #3
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Great review, reminded me of one of those Rondo Talbot pieces in Dirt Bike magazine!!!
... I can't help thinking though it's not a question of if but when you'll need to get stitched up? Keep us posted :-)
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:33 AM   #4
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I didn't touch it on purpose. Word to the wise: Don't use Chico's Barges with your weak hand when it's below freezing out to cut something you probably shouldn't be using a knife on anyway even though you know he's made it sharp enough to do it.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:16 AM   #5
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LOL. Very good story!

The Bada Bing "insider name" for that folder is "Blue Butt." It derives from a system where I don't cut myself. When a Barge is taken to 3.2 million grit from the slurry and then folded, it looks like every other Barge--and there are over 40 of them circulating. So I put a small bit of blue painters' tape on the prying device so I know it in an instant.

I think Rob is slowly sinking down the ladder of 'success,' and becoming a polisher. Or as it is known in some circles of the Japanese togishi guild, "The Curse."

Someday (and very soon) I will be awaken at 2:00AM with a panicky call from Rob. In the upward fright and downward malaise of the swarf infecting his body, he will plead, "Chico, there are whisker marks all over! They're on the knife, they're on my hands, they're on my dog! I polished a bar-stool for seven hours before I realized it was wooden..."

A few days ago I polished a simple Shuffle II four times to remove a 1/16th inch mar on the tanto bevel.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:21 AM   #6
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One of the best knife reviews I've read on the forum yet. Rob, didn't Chico instruct you on the proper way to open the box he sent you? I was told to just gently shake the box and the knife will cut it's way out by itself.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:33 AM   #7
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Yeah, Chuck, I warned him. It's all part of the mystery. To some folks (and Rob is one of them) a polished edge is like a bored redhead. He thinks to himself, "I can make this horrid and dangerous artifact bend to my will and be a thing of beauty."

This usually lasts for about thirty years...
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Old 02-23-2019, 06:30 AM   #8
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"Best not go around tickling any dragons."

Because we are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
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Old 02-23-2019, 06:33 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
Yeah, Chuck, I warned him. It's all part of the mystery. To some folks (and Rob is one of them) a polished edge is like a bored redhead. He thinks to himself, "I can make this horrid and dangerous artifact bend to my will and be a thing of beauty."

This usually lasts for about thirty years...
Yeah, if YOU gents last thirty years!


Chuck, I wish I could hit LIKE 30 times!!) 'Cut its way out!'

My sisters always give me crap because when I pack a box to go UPS or USPS, they say, "I tape it up like something is going to try to gnaw its way out of the box!" (See? I was PREPARING!)
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Old 02-23-2019, 07:05 AM   #10
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'Snow, I just sent you one of my personal Blue Butts. You and Rob have become friends, not just joint forum members.

I expect you to honor the knife. Please drop it into some crappy jeans and consider it your life's blood tool and companion.

May you slice meals and muggers with the same appetite!
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