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Old 03-21-2019, 01:45 PM   #1
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I'm glad anesthetic makes me stupid.

My wife and I got back from voting and sending a titanium knife to the newly chistened 2sharpest2.

(BTW, yes, you can make low chromium, high vanadium knives brighten up with polishing. It just takes the right emulsion, a few coarse words and an adult beverage. My drink of choice is Costco's Kirkland Vita-Rain.Zero flavored, no calorie waters. What? I don't indulge until the owner gets the knife!)

As we pulled in, I saw a shipping box on the porch. My wife just rolled her eyes, "What kind of a switchblade did you buy today, Pizza Man?"

I knew she was a tad miffed by the "Pizza Man" epithet. It's a snide nod to the old "Hill Street Blues" TV show. The DA was the girl friend of the precinct captain, and she'd needle him with the same insult.

I was honest, I told her, "It's a 39.95 Boker, green handle, copper Bowie knife blade." That seemed to soften her mood, she knows Bokers are quite economical.

Then I opened the box. Oh, it was a Boker, green handle with a black traditional blade. Then I remebered that I forgot I bought that one, too. I 'fessed up quick lest I show up being tied to a post and offered a final cigarette--and I haven't lit up in +45 years...

"So, there's another one coming after this?" she intoned.

"Yeah," I smirked in spite of myself, "and she's a beaut!"
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:42 PM   #2
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Not long enough. Need to make it longer. I suppose this is now long enough?
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Old 03-21-2019, 05:15 PM   #3
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Oh, I talked to the infamous Joyce of "Nick and Joyce's Horizon Sports."

Their sport is switchblades, so it's a valid title.

My former Whaler knives, now Joyce's Whaler knives, might hit her desk tomorrow. If I get her call sounding like a teenage girl, it means we're rich. If she professionally outlines my options in a learned and adult tone, it means I might make 20 bucks--after taxes.

Either way I needed a chance to feel a thrill--a safe thrill, no redheads.

But if I do hit it rich, I'll buy the forum here, and there will be a new running loop of "The Best Plays of The Lingerie Football League," my new favorite sport...
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