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Old 07-22-2017, 08:35 AM   #1
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Nothing worse than a doctor who tells the truth.

Due to some overlapping issues, I've had to seek the counsel of various doctors. I'm somewhere between 80 and 90% okay, but it's one of those "good days, bad days." Yesterday was hard.

Due to recurring sinus issues and routine follow-ups, I saw my GP yesterday. He always sets aside 30 minutes for me, because the malady is never the malady. The malady is the symptom.

Besides some "real medical issues," I was having a PTSD attack and the meds he had been giving me weren't working. After a check up--which included being held down and experiencing a rubber glove--he pulled out the charts and grafts, and sat down in that "fatherly" way he has.

He began, "Chico, I don't think death bothers you one bit--it's the act of dying. I could drag you to this mall of yours, toss you into a gaggle of jihadists and you'd die with a grin on your face."

I smiled in spite of myself and responded, "How else would I get to Purgatory?"

He was blunt with his personal comments and I listened, trying to be dispassionate, but knowing he was right. He even made a comment on my shorts, because he has figured out that I want a more complete exam, and fewer clothes speeds the process.

As is required, notes get typed into the new SSM/Dean mega-computer. My shrink has access to every jot and tittle.

We made some stupid male jokes as we closed, and we opened the exam door smiling as to show the clinic we're a medical success story. I told him that in his scenario my Guardian Angle would call me by my Heavenly name and add, "You're three cartridges short..."

I believe this is why we smiled.

BTW, if you're ever banged up in Madison, please go to the new SSM/Dean conglomerate. Fantastic organization. And I was guaranteed that the "SSM" stands for "The Sons of the Sicilian Mafia," so you know these guys are experts in life and death issues...

I have three Docs, and as I have told SnowTao, they are the finest professionals I have ever met.
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Old 07-22-2017, 02:46 PM   #2
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I have been considering your condition (all of them) and after careful and thoughtful analysis, I can now recommend a solution.

As usual it is about drinking. 1) Not enough, or 2) to much.

Since you don't drink period. I have determined that #1 is the cause.

I would prescribe a 750ml of a hearty red wine to be administered over the course of several hours in front of an addicting Netflix series (House of Cards?). I would express ship the medicine, but the 67 gallons of Blueberry, Apple and Rhubarb wine is at least a month away from being bottled. Never fear, a nearby grocery store will have a sub standard (compared to mine) substitute that will serve the purpose. Good Luck and God Speed!
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Old 07-22-2017, 04:25 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
I've had to seek the counsel of various doctors.
So do your doctors concur? Will you live? I hope so.

There's a doctor for each of us. The challenge is to find the right one. I found mine by quite serendipitous circumstances. I had been suffering from some bogus symptoms, symptoms I've never heard of, which seemed quite scary, and which seemed as if they would make life not worth the trouble. My doctor was out, so I got another in the same office.

See seemed quite cavalier with my symptoms, and said this sort of thing happened sometimes, and they only had theories regarding the cause. She gave me exercises to get better, but said it could take a day, a week, or months--but I would get better. I was relieved that life would eventually return to normal.

Being the smart ass I am, I told her, "Great, so you'll make me better!" Without losing a beat, she fired back, "No, you'll have to make yourself better."

WTF was that? That's not compassionate bedside manner! She took my smart assedness, doubled down, and threw it right back at me! Even worse, it's the sort of thing that I would have said myself. She took my words and used them on me. I knew this doctor had to be my own. As of 3:00 p.m. this afternoon, I'm still alive, so she must be doing a good job.

But like you mentioned, doctors are kind of like consultants. I'm the president, and they're my advisors. They can say what they want, but at the end of the day, I make the decisions.

So Chico, did they fix your sinus thing? Don't forget, you can always enlist the services of Doctor Rob. He doesn't even charge. Sometimes he'll ask for a beer, but since there's no good beer in Wisconsin, I'll work for free.

First step, is you gotta get clean. As you breathe, you're sucking pollen and dust into your head, which forms into boogers and snot. Walking around with a head full of snot is not at all good. That's what happened to Nancy Pelosi and Barrack Obama. You don't want to become a liberal, do you?

Simply blowing your nose is just gross. Consider walking along in the park, stumbling, and falling into a pile of dog poop. You could just get a rag and wipe it off your hand. Or you could get a compressor hose and blow it off your hand. Or you could wash your hands.

So go buy yourself a Neti Pot. It's like a nose douche--like a teapot you stick in your nose. Luke warm saline water washes all the nastiness out of your head. It's not the sort of thing you do only when you're not well. It's a lifestyle thing that you do every day. It's no different than brushing your teeth or wiping your butt. Once you become accustomed to it, you couldn't imagine going back to your primitive, unsanitary ways. And remember, every special forces operator gets waterboarded for real. Your little eight ounce teapot is

See? You didn't even have to specify the exact problem. But this is the interweb, so you get advice anyway. Ain't America great?!

So don't worry. Between your three docs and your gunslinging buds on Kimbertalk, we'll help you heal yourself.

Happy Saturday, Holmes.
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Old 07-22-2017, 04:59 PM   #4
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Oh, I'm careful what I breathe. I haven't been around a smoker in +20 years, I do endless cruel aerobics and my lungs displace six liters.

I also have a wife who is hired a landscape team to finish off one entire side of our yard.

'Resident, red wine gives a headache faster, deeper and longer than tequila. Trust me, I "experimented" as a younger man.

Yes, my three doctors all converse. It takes a village...

SnowTao disagrees with all of them, but then, she's right a lot of the time--for a person who doesn't carry a knife...
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Old 07-22-2017, 09:18 PM   #5
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If you have sinus issues, then I'm sure that you have used a netti-pot, if not you should definitely give it a try or you can also use Ocean saline nasal spray. Sinus headaches are the worst! Hope you feel better soon!
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Old 07-23-2017, 03:38 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by starnovi View Post
If you have sinus issues, then I'm sure that you have used a netti-pot!
Yes, I have. My allergies spike in the spring and fall, and I use one before I go to bed.

I hate to admit this, but I also find putting a dab of Vicks on my moustache seems to help.

When the landscaping is done--and it's almost over--I'm sure the dust and pollen will settle down.

(I also see you're quoting Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Now that you're officially a "blade head," isn't it nice patting down your pocket and finding a clip?)
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Old 07-23-2017, 03:47 AM   #7
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(BTW, I'd like some advice from other members who deal with PTSD. Even after the "crisis of the moment" passes or I walk out of the doctor's office with a clean bill of health, I find a gray cloud over my head for a day or two. I refer to this as 'psychic shrapnel.' Drives my wife nuts. I go to the therapist--and we appear to have a simple chatty conversation--but when I get home I'm exhausted and go to bed. Why does my mind and body do this after getting "good news"? Shouldn't I be elated?)
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Old 07-23-2017, 01:44 PM   #8
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If things are ok, and you find yourself going down a road you don't want to go, visualize a STOP sign. STOP. Tell your mind to STOP. Then let it go and take it in another direction.

Is this easy? Bwahahaha! Heck no. But neither is polishing a tabukashi blade to three million kirabuko. Practice, grasshopper. Practice.
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:06 AM   #9
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Well, 'Iron, I even remember my mother telling me +50 years ago that I had a "guilty conscience." Whether it be man or God, I confess things over and over.

It's an aspect of OCD. Oh, I'm grateful I have it when I polish, then curse the same attribute when I walk through life.

I spend long hours on the aerobic equipment and my mind wanders. I thought about missteps I made 47 years ago recently.

A few months ago I got a letter from one of my former superiors when I worked for him in 1978. Seems he had a hidden alcohol problem, and he wrote me a letter to amend his conduct. People are truly hobbled by this condition.

When I was in my very early teens, I took 1.50 I was supposed to throw into the collection plate and bought a jackknife. Since there is a Catholic church across the street from me, I gave their secretary two fists of quarters to pay my "debt."

Many people tell me to "cheer up" or simply "let it go." It's rough sledding when you remember every sin you ever committed.

I told my therapist that I look forward to walking Purgatory, if it exists. People hear me say that and ask surprisingly, "So you want to be punished?"

Frankly, if it makes the dread go away, I'd walk Purgatory for thousands of years.
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Old 07-26-2017, 10:37 PM   #10
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Hey, how are you doing? I hope you are feeling better. Haven't noticed much activity from you so I thought I would check in on you. Yard work done at your house?
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