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Old 12-08-2017, 05:35 AM   #1
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My little girl is back home.

Yesterday my wife picked up Sasha's remains. I could not go. After all, I was the one who carried her in, and even her footprint was too much to embrace. I have rubbed it in passing, but this is going to take a long while.

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Old 12-08-2017, 08:10 AM   #2
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Yes, of course it will. Grief is CORRECT!
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:22 AM   #3
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Those of us that have gone through that experience know exactly how you feel right now. We had to tell our Springer Spaniel goodbye four years ago, and still to this day we get a bit choked up when we are sitting at the lakehouse watching TV with popcorn. She loved to get her popcorn ration
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:24 AM   #4
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I think the biggest surprise was the picking up of the urn.

For some reason, my wife and I did not fully take the blow of a "complete and final death."

As I said, I carried her into the surgeon's office, the surgeon took her to a private room, and we never saw her after that. In a very real sense, we both took comfort in "Sasha is at the doctor's office."

I know it sounds odd, but at some level, I expected her come home alive.

The little urn with the paw print on the cap was a very tactile finality. My little girl is dead. She's not coming home alive, but she is home.
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Old 12-08-2017, 09:54 AM   #5
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Yep, know exactly what you mean.

Our Springer's vet had treated her for heartworms when we rescued her. He administered the drug to put her to sleep. He cried as hard as we did when it was over. They did a nice stone memorial piece for us with her name on it. We have it set where she liked to sit and watch for lizards off back porch at the lake.
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Old 12-08-2017, 10:13 AM   #6
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Sorry for your loss.
Your pictures brought tears to my eyes as i thought about my Reggie, he sits on the hearth by my chair with his paw print on top of his container. I want to scatter his remains out back by his favorite pond, its been 3 years and I can't do it yet.
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Old 12-08-2017, 11:54 AM   #7
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We have the same urn. While it's not her actual paw print, it's close to the size and shape of a Bichon.

We're not going to scatter her ashes, in a strange way that would be like losing her again. And once was enough.

The Japanese have an expression, "When a hammer is your only tool the entire world looks like nails." Sadly, that is me.

A drunken townie with a knife doesn't scare me, but these intellectual gymnastics cut me to the bone. I wept openly all over again seeing the urn and poem, I had no defenses.

One odd but good thing, for some unknown reason a Bichon's head smells like a "clean baby." I bent down to kiss Niko this morning and he smells like her, too. Perhaps it was a message, and at this point, I'll take what I can get.

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