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Old 04-13-2019, 07:18 AM   #6091
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I can go back to them in my history, where they show up as post # 6091 and 6092 on page 10, which would mean you're replying to something that the site doesn't think has happened yet, on a page that doesn't exist yet. WTF?!

Edit: Aaaand now I can't. What the hell.
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:18 AM   #6092
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This is an awesome story from a proud grandfather, you'll probably cry at the end.

Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.

My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert and liberty and justice for all. Amen!

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, that's what's wrong with this country.

Kids today don't even know how to pray, asking God for ice cream, why, I never!

Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, did I do it wrong, is God mad at me?

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my grand-son and said, I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.

Really my grand-son asked?

Cross my heart, the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.

Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal.

My grand-son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he told her, here, this is for you.

Shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch!

Touches the heart doesn't it?
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:19 AM   #6093
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:20 AM   #6094
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I grew up all my life believing I was Irish, but thanks to Ancestry.com, I now know Iím just a drunk.
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:51 PM   #6095
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A good one!
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:28 PM   #6096
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Originally Posted by Chuck43 View Post
I grew up all my life believing I was Irish, but thanks to Ancestry.com, I now know Iím just a drunk.


Chuck. When is your joke book coming out. Too funny.


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Old 04-14-2019, 07:53 PM   #6097
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................
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:09 AM   #6098
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Shootinit, it took me a minute, but...
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:03 AM   #6099
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I taught sex education in the South Bronx and as a sixth-grade teacher, I was told to answer all their sex questions.

One kid asked, is there any part of the womanís body known as the Volvo?

Which I thought was a good question.

I said, only on Swedish women.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:04 AM   #6100
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