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Old 08-20-2019, 06:59 AM   #6701
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Some people wake up and feel like a million bucks.

Me, I wake up feeling like “insufficient funds.”
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Old 08-20-2019, 07:00 AM   #6702
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Exercise makes you look better naked.

So does alcohol… your choice.
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Old 08-20-2019, 07:04 PM   #6703
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urban life....
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:44 AM   #6704
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As good as this bar is, said the Scotsman, I still prefer the pubs back home.

In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buythe fifth drink.

Well, Angus, said the Englishman, at my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.

Ahhh, dat's nothin', said Patty Sheehan, the Irishman. Back home in me favorite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. did this actually happen to you?

Not meself, personally, no, admitted the Irishman but it did happen to me sister and wife quite a few times.
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:45 AM   #6705
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:46 AM   #6706
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Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
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Old 08-21-2019, 09:02 AM   #6707
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Old 08-21-2019, 03:01 PM   #6708
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https://www.facebook.com/vaultofcome...2515750490478/


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Old 08-22-2019, 07:25 AM   #6709
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A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN, what’s your name?

Morris Feinberg, he replied.

Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?

For about 60 years.

60 years, that’s amazing, what do you pray for?

I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.

I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.

I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.

I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.

How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?

Like I’m talking to a fucking wall.
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Old 08-22-2019, 07:26 AM   #6710
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