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Old 09-10-2019, 06:22 AM   #6801
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:24 AM   #6802
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How do you milk sheep?

Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1,000 for it.
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:26 AM   #6803
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I look at people and sometimes think… really?

That’s the sperm that won?
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:26 AM   #6804
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:36 AM   #6805
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Filling a whoopee cushion with chocolate pudding takes the prank to whole new level
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:59 AM   #6806
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What's as big as a house, runs on diesel fuel at the rate of 20 gallons per hour, makes a crap load of smoke and noise and cuts an apple into three pieces?

A Soviet Machine designed to cut an apple into 4 pieces.

(A miners riddle from the movie Chernobyl)
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Old 09-10-2019, 01:32 PM   #6807
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Mornings with Grandparents

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and
Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.

"Not really, PaPa, it was boring. We didn't see a single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind bastard, dip shit, Muslim camel humper, peckerhead or son of a bitch anywhere we went. We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun.”

***Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
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Old 09-11-2019, 05:53 PM   #6808
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:29 PM   #6809
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Originally Posted by hawker800 View Post
easy pour containers...

We used to drain planes into 5 gallon buckets..avgas ran so good in our trucks/cars
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:42 PM   #6810
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Originally Posted by Shootinit View Post
easy pour containers...

We used to drain planes into 5 gallon buckets..avgas ran so good in our trucks/cars
Runs even better in a Harley
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