Lousy gang-bangers, but super hypochondriacs. - Kimber Forum

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Old 07-09-2018, 10:36 AM   #1
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Lousy gang-bangers, but super hypochondriacs.

Madison is a weird town. Go to the right dorm on the UW campus and you'll probably find students still protesting the Vietnam War.

So I'm standing in line at B&N, next to me is the cafe' manager on her break, and a barista is taking our orders. I have my cell-phone in my hand, rare even for me, I hate cell-phones.

The manager asked me who I was waiting for, and I told her the truth, it was my dentist. She asked if anything was serious.

I told her, "No, but I'm hypochondriac, and I'm trying to get a later appointment to see if I can 'ride out' the fear for a few days..."

No sooner had I got words out of my mouth, she jumps in and cries, "Oh, me, too! See this finger, I had a wart there--which I made them cut off because I thought I had skin cancer!"

Turns out, the barista had a wart, too, and the manager wound her up telling her to have it removed.

Now, you can go to every hip-hop dive in this burg, and dare you to find a clean, functioning Glock. I don't think even one banger knows how to clean them.

But stand in a service line anywhere, and tell no one in particular that you need a therapist for your phobias and everyone within earshot will jump into the conversation.

The media news doesn't help. Last week our lakes turned green and the piers closed. Every channel on radio and TV trumpeted that even if you touched this algae both you and your dog could die!

Jihadists, cartels, illegal aliens, the price of gas and taxes--mention those topics and no one on the entire isthmus cares. Tell them you have an underarm boil and so will twelve others who are also ready to check out...

Like I said, Madison is a weird town.
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