The First Day of the Rest Of My Life.

Marshall · 07-14-2019, 05:52 PM

I didn't know whether I wanted to talk about this, but after six years on KT many of you are like family to me and I trust what you think.

Tomorrow I will start a journey that will change the rest of my life. Let me explain. Twenty years ago on my birthday {June 27,1999} I was sitting with friends at a local pub having a few cocktails to celebrate my day. A friend next to me had a can of Kodiak laying on the counter and when he went to the restroom I opened the tin can and had my first taste of tobacco.

That first taste was enough to grab me and hold me down in the gutter for the last 20 years and over the last few weeks I have been planning my quit day and on Monday my attempt will begin.

It all started with a can that would last me a few days and now I use 2 a day. In my research I found out that one can has enough nicotine in it for 4 packs of cigarettes. That fact hit me like a brick.

Over the years I have lost six teeth to decay from this nasty habit and last month I found a sore in my mouth that didn't seem to go away until antibiotics were used. To say that I was scared shitless would be an understatement. I started a diet 5 weeks ago and so far I've lost 15 lbs, but I really need to drop another 30 to be in a healthier place in my life. I was drinking 7 days a week and burning the candle at both ends. I have kept my promise to myself not to indulge Sunday-Thursday and as hard as that was I have done it.

I'm not asking for pity, but for those who pray maybe you can bend God's ear for me and ask him to help a brother out. I have joined an online help group and will be spending my days there for awhile and I will still be here as well. Over the last few weeks I have been reading what I'm getting myself into and for those of you who have stopped an addiction you will know what that means. Life will be a bitch for the first few months and for the rest of my life I will have to fight the urge not to relapse.

Thank you for letting me vent a bit and please remind me once in awhile that this will be a marathon and not a sprint.

Jeff

RustyIron · 07-14-2019, 05:57 PM

Well good on ya, mate. All we can do is try to be better than the day before. If we can do that, and manage to live about a thousand years, maybe eventually we will all become good people.

PaulWVa · 07-14-2019, 05:59 PM

Be strong my friend.... just take it one day at a time... I have faith in you.

ChattanoogaPhil · 07-14-2019, 06:14 PM

Reluctant to add any further anxiety to what you're already dealing with, but since you seem to be looking for honesty... here goes.

I had a friend in his late 50s quit smoking. Not easy for the first few days but after that not so bad. Quit drinking too which made quitting smoking a ton easier because it's near impossible to quit smoking while drinking. But... then he started dipping. When he tried to give up dipping he told me it was 100x times worse than quitting smoking/drinking. I've since talked to a couple folks who have quit dipping and they say the same thing. It's just awful for an extended period of time.

Dipping is one of the most unhealthy, filthy, disgusting and stench infiltrating habits there is. You're doing yourself, family and those around you a great service by making this commitment. Bravo to you sir! Stay the course.

ps. if you're more of an a-hole than usual I'm sure everyone here a KT will give ya pass for a while.

Sincerely, wishing you all the best and strength

Bigdog · 07-14-2019, 07:14 PM

Tough stuff, but we’re all with you! Keep us updated and we’ll pray and support you.

Cucamonga kid · 07-14-2019, 07:37 PM

You're in for the fight of your life Marshall and a fight for your life. You want to be around to see those beautiful grandkids that Brook is going to give you someday, right? Do it for them; you be glad did.
Even facing this challenge on day 1 is hard enough but like someone else said you just have to do it one day at a time and every day will be a little easier.
I think you're tough enough to beat this.

Chuck43 · 07-14-2019, 07:50 PM

I'm here for you buddy, you know how to reach me if you need to talk. I don't know if you've discussed this with your doctor but they can help. Hang in their my friend I've got you in my prayers.

Marshall · 07-14-2019, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by Chuck43

I'm here for you buddy, you know how to reach me if you need to talk. I don't know if you've discussed this with your doctor but they can help. Hang in their my friend I've got you in my prayers.

I did Chuck and she suggested using the NicoDerm patch system that lasts for 10 weeks. I'm going to try it for the first week cold turkey, but may take her up on her suggestion down the road.

2sharp2 · 07-14-2019, 08:02 PM

Good for you Jeff, my Brother. We have never met in person but you feel like a brother to me. I really have no idea how much a "can" of poison costs but I'm sure the saving will add up to a sweet Wilson Combat or pistol of your choice.

Call me anytime you need to.

Love ya Brother.

Marshall · 07-14-2019, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by 2sharp2

Good for you Jeff, my Brother. We have never met in person but you feel like a brother to me. I really have no idea how much a "can" of poison costs but I'm sure the saving will add up to a sweet Wilson Combat or pistol of your choice.

Call me anytime you need to.

Love ya Brother.

It's a $10 a day crutch so add that up to 365 days over the last 20 years and I would have a nice little nest egg.