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Old 08-17-2020, 04:49 PM   #1
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Getting through to your doctor.

Among my amazing talents, I am also borderline crazy. Don't laugh, it has worked like a miracle over time. No drunken townie wants to exchange blows with crazed biker with a "thousand yard stare."

Today's need was simply getting an appointment (very problematic here) and having my meds re-filled. Now, this should be quite simplistic, believe it or not.

I just get on the phone, state my name and account number, and wait for the subtle breath of the guy who answers the phone. Like everyone else, it's 4:30PM and the guy on the phone just wants a beer. Here's a clue, do not raise your voice and act like a nut--that's just a dissatisfied customer.

Rather, you talk softly and mimic Alfred Hitchcock. The best kept secret in the world is true nut-cases do not rant, that's a TV mistake. The truly dangerous nut-cases are neat, clean, polite and accommodating--until a kitchen knife appears.

All I have to say is, "Excuse me, this is Chico, do you have my file...?"

Having said that I immediately hear drawers slam, 9-1-1 calls are processed and everyone gets overly polite.

My wife is a teacher who thinks everyone should be polite. She will allow herself to be dumped into a waiting-room until Hell freezes over. Repeatedly she has told me that she simply doesn't want to be impolite. The trick is to stare into space, perhaps talk/sing to yourself as in an Elizabethan Opera and smile.

Why all the hocus-pocus? It's because good doctors are scarce, clinics don't care as long as the numbers come out right, and the clueless staff never notice a quiet older woman--like your grandmother--frozen like a statue and allowing a single tear run down her face.

So, where did I learn this? Why, I learned it from the best. I used to be a bill collector for a hospital in Madison. We had some of the best nuts, mad-men and the truly insane. I often saw a patient talking to the wall, and I would introduce myself, "Hello, I'm the set designer. The writer and the Hollywood actor will see you now..."

...I would then ask for an autograph, and take the smiling client to the best doctors and surgeons we had...
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:02 PM   #2
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Biker, BHAHAHAH. This post of yours is in the top 5 of the craziest chit you have ever written. Congrats.

Oh posting pics on KT has nothing to do with the type of camera your using, except if it's a camera on your cell phone you can post it straight from the phone camera.
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Old 08-17-2020, 08:05 PM   #3
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WTF? I am now embarrassed to admit I read this... in the naive hope that maybe a nugget of sense would be found... what was I thinking. Chico, thousand yard stare from a 70 year old, looney Toon vest wearing Biker....? You would have to be drunk to find that scary.... You know who else has a 1000yd stare? Sleepy Joe, the difference is, he really is scary.....
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Old 08-17-2020, 08:47 PM   #4
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I like you way of thinking!

Originally Posted by Doons View Post
WTF? I am now embarrassed to admit I read this... in the naive hope that maybe a nugget of sense would be found... what was I thinking. Chico, thousand yard stare from a 70 year old, looney Toon vest wearing Biker....? You would have to be drunk to find that scary.... You know who else has a 1000yd stare? Sleepy Joe, the difference is, he really is scary.....
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Old 08-18-2020, 01:20 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Doons View Post
Sleepy Joe, the difference is, he really is scary.....
In truth, your observation was/is only part of the problem. Let me explain.

Be it doctors of truck mechanics, the service industry in our times is always under the gun. My work in that area was working with patients coming to our hospital. Many were scared, afraid they could not pay for the services, or worse yet, some feared they would die in our hospital.

As a bill collector, I found that collecting money from generic citizens was nothing like collecting money from scared people. Yes, it took me a bit of time to adjust. But then, I had a "following" of patients who knew they were going to get a smile, ample time, and follow-up, even if it was outside my job description.

So now we come full circle. I found that the nature of the business I joined was no different than any other place. The one thing that drove me nuts was guys who started with the brag, "Sure, you have your job but I'm part of a dedicated industry of highly professional people..."

Yeah, and the braggart washed cars on the weekend...

You deal with people, many of them disoriented. And during that section of my career, many hospital debtors loved coming to see the "bill collector."
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Old 08-18-2020, 02:49 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
In truth, your observation was/is only part of the problem. Let me explain.
For the love of God!....Please do NOT!
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:41 PM   #7
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I can't help but thinking that if he could post pictures it would save thousands of words.
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:52 PM   #8
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Don't worry, Rick, I'm not doing anything for anyone anymore. First off, no one pays me. Second, I know how to fix and repair expensive knives, duh, it was my job. Why should I ever help anyone who thinks insulting fellow members is funny?

I think there's still an old cutler working, but if memory serves me, but he's either living in Tahiti or buried there...
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Old 08-18-2020, 06:35 PM   #9
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Chico, this is the best post that I have read twice in awhile. The first time was to try to comprehend what you wrote. The second was to try to believe a sliver of what you wrote.

Good luck with all of that...
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Old 08-18-2020, 06:48 PM   #10
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Who's this old long-hair in a biker vest singing about his doctor? Now that I think about it, I've never seen Chico and Lemmy at the same time... Coincidence?

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