Madison needs a better class of criminal. - Kimber Forum

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Old 12-25-2015, 04:22 AM   #1
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Madison needs a better class of criminal.

As you know, I have absolutely no respect for Madison's supposed gang-bangers. They are simply posers. As I have reported here before, our own police chief, "Kumbaya" Koval, stated that there have been 35 shootings--no hits.

Well, guys, get ready to laugh. I found out some insider information on our mall shooting. In short, there was no fight.

Onlookers all report a "girl fight" of about six to eight females. Amid the ruckus were several males. It was believed that one guy pulled a small .32 ACP pistol and fired two shots. One hit a guy's leg, one ricocheted through the fabric of an employee's pant-leg, but she was not hit.

When the investigation turned up powder burns on the "victim's" leg but no blood and only one spent case was found, the cops dug deeper.

It appears now that the males all knew each other, there was no fight over the girls or jewelry (as suspected) but the victim was actually showing off his pistol when he shot himself! Only one shot was fired, it was also the ricochet that hit the employee.

So officially, the only gang-banger to have ever hit someone actually shot himself. Ironically Heath Ledger's line of dialogue keeps ringing in my head. Madison is the capital of the State of Wisconsin, we deserve better criminals...

(BTW, for those of you who were concerned about my wife and me, have no fear. While I thank you for your outreach, I'm not going to worry about future stress over an idiot that shot himself!)

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Old 12-25-2015, 09:08 AM   #2
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Nothing like a chic fight to get the adrenaline pumping!
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:18 AM   #3
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I wish that the gang-bangers here in the Lou couldn't hit a lick either, but unfortunately they have the homicide rate approaching 200 for the year...
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:25 AM   #4
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Several years ago two groups of bangers pulled their cars close together at a Target Store parking lot. Each car had several shooters with shotguns. They emptied the weapons into each others car.

One cop I know was at St. Mary's ER when the cars pulled up, blood everywhere. It looking for evidence the cops were surprised that all the 'wounds' were from flying glass.

Not one of the bangers was hit by BBs, pellets, slugs, or 00 Buck...
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:27 AM   #5
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Tourist, I would not get to complacent with your lack of range time wanna b's. I almost think I would prefer someone more proficient with a firearm so at least you would have a better idea what he or she was aiming at. At least there would be fewer mistakes. You may have a grace period though. It may take them awhile before they are able to hit something even on accident!
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:48 AM   #6
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swca, if you're ever in Madison, we'll meet up, I'll take you to East Towne Mall and I'll show you the "bangers."

For one thing, you can both see and hear them from a city block away. Even a pasta-stuffed Mafia hitter lugging a pocket full of Vegas cartwheels huffs with more stealth than our losers. If you don't hear the shuck-and jiving, you'll be blinded by the ridiculous clothing and junk jewelry.

About six months ago I saw a Gangster Disciple going at +350 pounds so out of shape I could have killed him with a heart attack if I would have simply made him trot around a kiosk.

One of the black girls who works at the uniform store laughs at them. I asked her why, and she proudly stated that she is originally from Chicago...
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Old 12-26-2015, 05:19 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
Several years ago two groups of bangers pulled their cars close together at a Target Store parking lot. Each car had several shooters with shotguns. They emptied the weapons into each others car.

One cop I know was at St. Mary's ER when the cars pulled up, blood everywhere. It looking for evidence the cops were surprised that all the 'wounds' were from flying glass.

Not one of the bangers was hit by BBs, pellets, slugs, or 00 Buck...
They were probably shooting number 7-1/2 bird shot . . .



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Old 12-26-2015, 05:22 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
swca, if you're ever in Madison, we'll meet up, I'll take you to East Towne Mall and I'll show you the "bangers."

For one thing, you can both see and hear them from a city block away. Even a pasta-stuffed Mafia hitter lugging a pocket full of Vegas cartwheels huffs with more stealth than our losers. If you don't hear the shuck-and jiving, you'll be blinded by the ridiculous clothing and junk jewelry.

About six months ago I saw a Gangster Disciple going at +350 pounds so out of shape I could have killed him with a heart attack if I would have simply made him trot around a kiosk.

One of the black girls who works at the uniform store laughs at them. I asked her why, and she proudly stated that she is originally from Chicago...
You missed your chance at Community Service, Chico. You could have bought him a cheeseburger . . .



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Old 12-26-2015, 06:07 PM   #9
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Gang member are not fighters, but rather are bleeders.

I'm reading "Not a Good Day to Die" by Sean Naylor, the story of Operation Anaconda of Afghanistan. My respect for Special Forces Delta and Seal Team is peaking. What those guys did at 9000+ feet is beyond human. Compared to some mall kid with 1/2 his ass hanging out his trousers, and a giant chip on his shoulder is the very definition of PUNK.


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Old 12-27-2015, 07:38 PM   #10
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Gang members are lousy shots just as many gun owners are. The only time they shoot their guns is when they are shooting at rival gangs.

Drive by shootings will, on occasion, hit someone but that is just bad luck on the part of the victim. The lack of hitting their targets is also the reason why they need large capacity guns.
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