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Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses.

He replied, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; deport him, you'll never have to feed him again."

Trump 20:17
 

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I hope this hasn't been posted here before. Too lazy to look through this many entries!

The Lawyer

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home, but he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.

When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie). So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes, and the price was right. The agent asked, "How many children do you have?"

He answered, "Twelve."

The agent asked, "Where are the others?"

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother."

MORAL: It's not necessary to lie; one only has to choose the right words, and don't forget, most politicians are lawyers.
 

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I wouldn't count that it's over yet. There is only a couple years left and forces against Trump are still very strong. The evil forces are not yet defeated and time is short! Dangerous times we live in IMO!

When they handled JFK, it was over very quickly and no one could prove a thing
 

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Secrets of a long life!

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above,
sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,

"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.
Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.
On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."


"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Forty-four," she replied.
 

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OOPs, OOPs....website acting up for me!

Blank...…….OOPs....website acting up for me!
 

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A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.

Before leaving, she tells a correction officer, you shouldn't make my husband work like that, he's exhausted!

The officer laughs and says, are you kidding, he just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell.

Bullshit the wife replies, he just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!
Now, that there.....is DAMN FUNNY!!
 

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My boss asked for two things we like most about our job.

Apparently, lunch time and quitting time weren't the right answers.
Retirement Day would be a big winner!
 
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he's staring.

He replies: I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you.

She answers, my son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.

Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.

She responds, well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1 You have to be single and
#2 You must be Catholic.

The cab driver is very excited and says, yes, I'm single and Catholic!

OK the nun says, pull into the next alley.

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?

Forgive me, for I have sinned, I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.

The nun says, that's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.
Now that, is some really funny stuff Chuck. Not where I thought it would go.....LOL!!
 
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Looks like a possible topic at a future Phoenix Society meeting!

Heck, if these were approved fuel containers in the back of a van it would make me nervous but open containers of gasoline is frightening!
 
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Waters is the definition of the words of the Texas Guru,Ron White..."You can't fix stupid"
Not true as far as I can tell. As much as I detest Maxine, I hate when stuff is posted that isn't true! I felt the same way about Obama.....these folks do/say enough stupid sh*t that we really don't need to make stuff up IMO! Some stuff just sounds to bizarre for even the most ignorant politician to say!!
 

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While I wouldn't necessarily be... surprised... I'm gonna need to see the citations for these LOL
Yeah, if someone has any actual links to these quotes I'd like to see them. These sound too dumb for even the three shown.
 

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Back from the cruise

We're back from our cruise
 

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Clintons vs, Coronavirus
 

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Chuck.....did you post jokes or pictures so bad that you, yourself were forced to remove them? Posts # 7627 and #7629.....LOL!!
 
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I noticed the self censorship the other day??
 

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Finally 2053. memorable year
 

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