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Discussion Starter · #11,306 ·
I was in a pub a few months ago with my friend and these four huge bastards started mouthing off at us.

“Pretend we’re the police,” my friend said.

I only got halfway through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11,311 ·
A friend and I were walking past a poster on the local library wall.

It featured a photo of Einstein with the words

“Even Einstein reads books.”

My friend was amazed, he said ….. “I didn’t know Einstein’s first name was Even.”
 

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Discussion Starter · #11,315 ·
I need to re-home a dog.

It’s a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.

If you’re interested, let me know, and I’ll jump over the neighbor’s fence and get it for you.
 

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☝☝☝☝☝ Abso-freakin-lutely.

And take the progressive socialists with you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11,318 ·
I went to see a psychic who was in a bad mood …

Then I saw a clairvoyant who was really grumpy.

I’m just trying to find a happy medium.
 
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