Back on January 9th, a group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge.
So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby;..whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked;"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe;why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that; and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. "So tell me..why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
A priest and a rabbi are seated together on a plane. After a while, the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
The rabbi responds, Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.
The priest then asks, Have you ever eaten pork?
To which the rabbi replies, Yes, on one occasion, I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?
The priest replied, Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.
The rabbi then asked him, Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?
The priest replied, Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.
The rabbi nodded understandingly.
He was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, beats a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all its features. Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day, Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
“Hi Meg,” he said, “how do you like your new phone?”
Meg replied, “I just love it! It’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”
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