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Number 10 -- Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 --- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 --- Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horney If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 --- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6 --- Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 -- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4 -- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 -- Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2 -- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought -- Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers, what you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. - - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long".
 
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